Sevenn's Vampire Journal

Sevenn's Journal

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4 entries this month

← Mar 2008

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Buffalo Theory
22:07 Apr 26 2008
Times Read: 770

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole g roup keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

COMMENTS

LordVlkodlak
23:10 Apr 26 2008

Sinora
10:45 Apr 27 2008

*Heads to the pub*

Common Sense
18:18 Apr 17 2008
Times Read: 846

1) A jack of all trades is often a master of none.

2) Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

3) Even if you talk loudest or longest, it doesn’t mean that what you are saying is important.

4) The occasional lightning strike is beautiful, but common rain is far more beneficial.

5) If you can make good, true friends with a dog, you’ve got one up on a lot of people.

6) If animals don’t like you, I suspect that I won’t either.

7) It’s fine to disagree with her, but treat your mother with respect.

8) Good works should be done if and when you are genuine enough to be truly moved, not to secure your place in the afterlife.

9) Dishonesty is the trademark of a coward.

10) When you like yourself for the right reasons people think you are nice. When you “like yourself” but are compensating for low self-esteem, you appear self absorbed. People are pretty smart about being able to tell the difference.

COMMENTS

LadyChordewa
18:53 Apr 17 2008

The tone of your voice is often heard more than the words that you say.

Sinora
19:15 Apr 17 2008

*Nods*

CryingMist
19:29 Apr 17 2008

about the mother thingy.....if you are pis** do not destroy her vacuum, she might sell your xbox360 on ebay and change your myspace to mickey mouse lol

Vampirewitch39
21:46 Apr 17 2008

#6 is so true.

Well all of them are true, but I liked 6 the most. ;)

Nightgame
02:30 Apr 18 2008

#2 is the one I find most appropriate though someone jumped to my mind as I read each of them. I have a hard time understanding how anyone can be so bad that dogs dislike them but I'd trust their judgement too.

Psychic
01:31 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 937

I never realized how many psychics there might possibly be in the world until I joined VR. I learned recently, that even I am gifted with unusual psychic abilities and I was overjoyed. I have a test to prove it, haters:

It turns out though, I have only a certain type of psychic abilty and it haunts me.

I understand you might see this as a gift, fair reader, but believe me when I tell you that your fantasies of an unwashed "big and stupid" mechanic (no names) is NOT the sort of gift I ever asked for. *cries* I realize we must persevere and make the best of the gifts we have been given. I learned that from an exerpt of one of Sylvia Brown's books.

Her personality comes across so strongly in her writing that I could sense the spirit of the Marlboro Man standing behind her waiting to take her and her gravely voice into the great white light.

(sylvia...join me..smokes are free here....)

Anyway, one thing I hadn't considered is that animals possess heightend psychic sensibility. I have also learned this from VR. I tested both my dog and my cat. My dog just ate things. But my cat...sure as hell! After learning that I could communicate with my cat telepathically, he offered to be photographed using his powers to offer as proof in this journal entry.

Thanks Zap!

Thank you VR, for bringing me into who I really am as a gifted psychic and probably a gifted spiritual healer too, but I will practice this later.

COMMENTS

CountessMoon
01:44 Apr 10 2008

I'd invite you into my mind, but I have this feeling you would sit in the corner and rock back in forth while tinkling yourself in pure terror.

Sevenn
01:47 Apr 10 2008

tinkle? I don't TINKLE! How DARE you! And yes, CM, Stabb has had to teach me how to make a psychic shield specifically against YOUR dirty thoughts!

Nightgame
02:39 Apr 10 2008

You can only read my dirty thoughts! omg then you know I didn't clean the fridge this week...

*hides in shame*

Joli
03:02 Apr 10 2008

As a matter of public record, I would like it known that mine do not involve Morri showering. Thank you. You will now be returned to your regularly scheduled programming.

Joli
03:05 Apr 10 2008

And Sevenn, next time you visit my mind, I would appreciate it if you would mind the NO CAMERAS sign.

CountessMoon
04:21 Apr 10 2008

Okay you don't tinkle.. you'd wet the whole floor like a tsunami just hit.

And Joli doesn't think of Morri in the shower. Just like she didn't say my bewbs were like a venus fly trap. :grin:

Joli
22:36 Apr 14 2008

Hey! I was just trying to describe the terrifying experience of how I settled down comfortably and WHAM your boobs started to eat my face, CM! There should be a leash law for them puppies.

Vampirewitch39
23:43 Apr 16 2008

O.o *runs*